BOSTON
(Noodad) — Shares of foodad (symbol: FOO) stocks ended lower Monday as Gong Fu Dad
Conglomerate International allowed a later than average bedtime, but disallowed
a pre-snooze snack.
Gong Fudad, the household’s largest supplier of father
related goods and services, reported net bedtimes of 7:45, netting 15 minutes
below expected bedtime, or 2 minutes per share, compared with a loss of 10
minutes the night before.Gong Fu Dad
also reported later than expected work nights and a reduced overall quality
time with the kidsresulting in a lower
overall consumer confidence rating and causing investors and kids to look
elsewhere for parenting services.Super
Mom Inc (SMOM) stocks were up +5.00 on the news.
Kids are great excuses to never do anything you used to like to do before you had them. You probably have not been to Las Vegas on a weekend bender with your buddies since they invaded your personal habitat. And when was the last time you saw a movie in the theater, went out raging until 3:00AM, streaked through Ann Taylor or went to a restaurant? Boohoodads, listen up. Yes. You can still go out to eat.
“Here comes the donkey
Chained to a ten ton plough
he’ll never make that hill in a million years
whip CRACK beat em down” -What the World is Waiting For - Stone Roses
That donkey is me. One of the Ocean City locals commented that I looked like a pack mule and that she was impressed with the amount of stuff I hauled to and from the beach every day. We noodads are used to this though. We can carry 10-20 times our own weight in gear. Maybe that was ants. At any rate, whether it’s carrying things through the airport, carrying multiple kids to the car in a rain storm or hauling beach gear we can pile it on.
The daily routine for me this vacation was to load up the beach cart, drag it down to the beach, set everything up and then commence digging. Digging post holes for beach umbrellas, piles of sand for sandcastles, moats for said castles and holes for the sake of having holes. This year it was a lot easier because I actually went to the hardware store about an hour before we left for the shore and bought a shovel. I have been keeping a list of all of the things that I think are must haves for a beach vacation for dads.
Some dads like gadgets and others like the Father’s Day tie. I am more the former, but this year I got something that beat any possible gift I could have dreamed up. My kids made me a poster called “Things I Love About Dad”.
My son busted into my bedroom this morning, like the Incredible Hulk through a wall. “HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!” he said, clutching the poster. I was still pretty sleepy as I was in the middle of exercising Father’s Day executive privilege also known as sleeping in.
Here’s how it’s done. Moms, get your kid or kids together. Next, ask them what they like about dad. If there is a baby, ask the bigger kids what the baby would say. Next, you write these on the poster, then you let the kids decorate. That’s it. My kids all like when I play with them, especially when we play ball. I learned that my son really thinks it’s awesome when we play slot cars together. My daughter likes it when I help her with things when she is afraid. She also thinks I look very handsome in my work clothes.
How can you beat that noodads? What did you get for Father’s Day?
That is what a German couple “tried to do” when their son got too loud.
“Peter Hieber, a spokesman for police in the Bavarian town of Krumbach, said the baby was placed in the care of youth services in the southwestern Allgaeu region, although the child’s 23-year-old mother insisted that the ad was only a joke.”
Of course it was, however the only ones who thought it was funny were the baby’s parents as they are now in custody and the kid is in child services.
<a href=”http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/05/24/ebay.baby.ap/index.html”>Click here to read the article about the baby who was listed on ebay at cnn.com.</a>
Come on people. It’s one thing to think about something, it’s another to follow through. Once the name is released, we are revoking his noodad membership.
Noodad wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s party. Noodad is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Noodad had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.
And, next to them, a single red rose!! Noodad sits up and sees his clothing
in front of him, all clean and pressed.
He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house!!!
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.
Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:
‘Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. Read the rest of this entry »
My daughter is about as smart and responsible as a dad could hope of his five year would be. I was shocked last evening when I found her bawling in the bathroom. I mean, she was like Noodad-with-a-hangnail-bawling! She just told me that she brushed her teeth and my wife told her that she did not do a good enough job. I guess she took of whiff of her breath and it reminded her of Cujo or something. I thought my sweet little innocent princess was bawling because she is a little bit sensitive about having to do things over. The truth was that she lied about brushing her teeth in the first place. That little rat! Furthermore, this was not the first time she lied to me about brushing her teeth! Innocence lost already? Not quite. After a three hour search of her room, I did not find any marijuana, Pokemon cards, alcohol, firearms, cigarettes, spare ribs or chewing tobacco.
She knows that brushing her little choppers is really important. She also knows that telling the truth is important. Seems there was a problem with her toothpaste being stuck in the tube and rather than ask us to fix it, she was just deciding not to brush her teeth. Or she would use her little brother’s training toothpaste if she decided to brush at all. Read the rest of this entry »
Our weekend did not go as planned. We expected to get up on Sunday and take the kids out for dim sum, suggestion from my oldest daughter. I got up early on Sunday (in an attempt) to let my wife sleep later. Anything past 8:30AM is really late in our house. I needed some baby supplies so I took the little one upstairs. That’s when I heard a thud and THE squeal. I rushed down the stairs and put the baby down and picked up my son who was already bleeding out of his mouth. He “decided” to taste the wood work at full speed.
I got some paper towels. I started to blot the blood while I inspected the situation. Ugh. One of his front teeth was clearly about a millimeter back. FREEZE NOODAD!
Our family loves to use shutterfly.com. We find it really convenient for ordering pictures in a variety of formats including prints, postcards, holiday cards and albums. My wife very thoughtfully put together an album for my mother for her birthday. My mother is one of those people who will never tell you what she what she wants. She has always been a person who honestly thinks she does not deserve to have stuff. She always loves to get pictures of the kids though, particularly because she lives in Ohio and we do not. The album arrived the other day. My wife opened it to admire her handy work before wrapping it and to our surprise, the cover was ours, but the photos inside were of some family from Philadelphia. Immediate family fury ensued.
Noodad himself, all decked out for Halloween… and the site!
Kids are great excuses to never do anything you used to like to do before you had them. You probably have not been to Las Vegas on a weekend bender with your buddies since they invaded your personal habitat. And when was the last time you saw a movie in the theater, went out raging until 3:00AM, streaked through Ann Taylor or went to a restaurant? Boohoodads, listen up. Yes. You can still go out to eat.
Noodad wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s party. Noodad is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
